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So my daughter is now 19 months old and still nursing strong. She's gotten very verbal and that is as it should be. BUT she's now shoving her hand down my shirt to establish "You're MY Mama" and has in the last two weeks turned into a serious pincher. I remove the offending little paw gently from out of my bra and give her lots of snuggles and verbal comfort that Yes, those are mama's boos and be nice please, etc. Is this the way to go? I'm not going to say "don't touch" and I'm not looking to wean yet, in fact I think that making them off limits may make her more desperate to hold on tight, but I need a little encouragement. Most of my local mama friends haven't nursed this long and have pretty much gone the old school "mama's body off limits" route, so in a loving way I can state that they're not much help. I think I'll cross post this on attachment parenting and see if anyone has anything to say over there too.
feedback?
feedback?
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Portland
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we are still going strong over here at over 19 months and i have experienced a bit of the grabby myself and i just tell my girl firmly to stop. she gets nursed regularly, but she would like to push the boundary and grab and yell and become a booby pest-- and she woudl if she had her way. so when she gets unruly and grabby i stop her and tell her to stop firmly. i explain to her that she will nurse, but she cannot grab and pull at me. then i redirect by asking her if she woudl like to nurse and she then replies and we go from there. ball back in mama's court. no crying. no grabbing, pinching, pulling, screaming or freaking out (the majority of the time).
we aren't weaning, but i can't function with her arms down my top so i had to tell her to stop.
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we're six weeks shy of three years nursing ... and not much is different.
i just do my best to redirect, explain and occasionally get super-grouchy about it, but i won't give up until she's ready. she tells me she needs to do breastfeeding, so i'm mostly happy to oblige. -
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ha ha, booby pest, that's great. Yep, I've got a booby pest. I've been doing the explaining and redirect thing too and it's gotten better this week, but I swear she can tell if and when I"M stressed (usually a social situation) and she seems to want to immediately establish boobie dominance. It's kindof cute how disconcerted some of my friends get. You'd think they never saw a kid with their hand down their mom's shirt before!
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Oh Stephanie, we're so totally in the same boat. Nearly three years and today I totally lost it: "I'VE TOLD YOU YOU CAN"T PLAY WITH THE OTHER BOOBIE AND YOU JUST KICKED ME IN THE FACE WHILE NURSING. WE'RE DONE HERE." Didn't go over so well, and not how I aim to deal with it, but it happens. It was REALLY hot out and we'd just done IKEA and Science World back to back. What was I thinking?
but mostly she wants and needs it and as long as I'm not stressed, I'm fine with it. I wouldn't at all like to go the "mommy's body is off limits" route, but I would like more respect and personal space. I don't know what the answer is. Sometimes giving her something to hold works. Sometimes threatening end-of-session if behaviour continues works. I explain about my body and how it makes me feel when she hurts me. Sometimes I feel like I can't go another day and sometimes it seems like the easiest and most natural thing in the world. but that's parenting.
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