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am I overreacting?

topic posted Wed, September 16, 2009 - 12:58 PM by  K 		Share/Save/Bookmark
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So, I signed up for a yoga teacher training with a company I did my initial 200-hour training through (and spent a ton of money). It included a prenatal postpartum training where they were all about "loving and supporting moms in pregnancy and beyond". During one of my trainings we were in the middle of a serious discussion when the company's owner paraded her dogs through, completely disrupting everything for 30 minutes and we totally lost our focus.

This is what I wrote to them,

"I am registered for the xxx training. I
would like to get in touch with the trainer ahead of time to let her
know that I might need some small accommodation as a nursing mom.
Basically I may need my husband to bring my son in probably once in the
afternoon and potentially once in the morning. It would only be for
10-15 minutes max. I would plan to just nurse him in the back of the
room so I could still hear everything going on. If it were to disrupt
everything I would then take him out in another area. I would like to
speak with the trainer prior to the training to make sure this
accommodation is acceptable and so that my husband and I can prepare and
prepare our son for it."

And this is what I got back,

"Unfortunately, a baby cannot be permitted into the training. It would be a
disruption to the experience for the other trainees and a liability that we
are not covered for. XXX is the instructor. I will consult with
him to see if you could leave the room for a short time in the morning and
the afternoon. We should be able to work with you if it is just 10 minutes
or so."

I was really incensed about the word "disruption" and that it's up to the trainer, not policy.

Am I overreacting?
posted by:
K
offline K
Montana
58 friends
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  • K
    K
    offline 58

    Re: am I overreacting?

    09/16
    I should add my son is 15 months now, will be 16 months at the time and the longest he can go without nursing now is 3 hours and has not taken a shine to cow's milk. He would be going 5 hours if I only see him at lunch. And pumping would be even worse, because I'd need more time and would definitely want to leave the room.
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    • Kylie
      Kylie
      offline 19

      Re: am I overreacting?

      09/17
      I would recommend that the instructor spend some time learning of subtle body systems from a reputable master so they better appreciate what high esteem breastfeeding instintively is held by such. You are not over reacting.
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      • K
        K
        offline 58

        Re: am I overreacting?

        09/17
        I heart this tribe!

        As a fellow teacher and teacher training, I was trying to give him the courtesy of letting him know and advance. I don't like surprises when I teach myself. And, I wanted to know roughly what time the normal scheduled breaks are so we could work on trying to do nursings around those times a week ahead of time to try and prepare my son.

        Mind you, I have no idea how the trainer feels, but the corporate policy is bs.

        I'm waiting to hear what they say, and if it's anything but telling me it's no problem at all and they will help me find a nice spot at the Y (where it will be held) to nurse then I'm going to unleash hell.

        I'm still going to point out how their knee-jerk policy (though I doubt an official one exists) is illegal, discriminatory and contrary to everything they teach in their classes.
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  • Re: am I overreacting?

    09/16

    www.ncsl.org/Default.aspx

    Montana :

    Mont. Code Ann. § 39-2-215 et seq. specifies that employers must not discriminate against breastfeeding mothers and must encourage and accommodate breastfeeding. Requires employers to provide daily unpaid break time for a mother to express breast milk for her infant child. Employers are also required to make a reasonable effort to provide a private location, other than a toilet stall, in close proximity to the work place for this activity.

    Mont. Code Ann. § 50-19-501 (1999) states that the breastfeeding of a child in any location, public or private, where the mother otherwise has a right to be is legal and cannot be considered a nuisance, indecent exposure, sexual conduct, or obscenity. (SB 398)

    2009 Mont. Laws, Chap. 167 (HB 372) specifies that the court may excuse a person from jury service upon finding that it would entail undue hardship for the person; an excuse may be granted if the prospective juror is a breastfeeding mother.
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    • K
      K
      offline 58

      Re: am I overreacting?

      09/16
      Thanks!

      The training actually will take place in Washington state, which, while does not have the strong laws, it does say breastfeeding is not an act of obscenity:
      www.llli.org/Law/Bills39.html

      But, this case is on my side, even though it's a Massachusetts case
      www.thebostonchannel.com/news/...l.html

      They seriously should have read the law before answering me.

      And, I think what I'm asking is 100% reasonable. I mean, people get up to go to the bathroom, etc. when it's not a scheduled break. I find it first bizarre that this hasn't come up before and that it's not policy that women can take an extra break if they need to pump or nurse. Especially for an org that is all love and light when they do their prenatal/postpartum training.

      I mean, it's yoga training, not that I don't take it seriously, but it's not like I'm going to be lost forever if I miss 10-15 minutes of discussion--they have take home manuals plus a required text. But, yeah, not being able to nurse him in the room does bother me. WTF?

      I'm going to wait until I hear from them, but if the answer is anything but, yes of course, go ahead and here's the number of the location manager so you can find a place to nurse, then I'm going to demand a full refund. That they've already made me feel uncomfortable about it is making me want to cancel anyway. It's just continuing ed for me, but I was kind of looking forward to it. But it's made me feel so crappy about it I totally don't want to go now.

      Thanks for your support and for letting me know that I'm not totally off the wall about this.
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      • Re: am I overreacting?

        09/17
        Washington

        Wash. Rev. Code § 9A.88.010 (2001) states that the act of breastfeeding or expressing breast milk is not indecent exposure. (HB 1590)

        Wash. Rev. Code § 43.70.640 (2001) allows any employer, governmental and private, to use the designation of "infant-friendly" on its promotional materials if the employer follows certain requirements. (2001 Wash. Laws, Chap. 88)

        2009 Wash. Laws, Chap. 164 (HB 1596) provides that it is the right of a mother to breastfeed her child in any place of public resort, accommodations, assemblage, or amusement.

        ~~~

        the 2009 law chapter 164 is pretty specific : it is the right of the mother to breastfeed her child in any place of public ... et al.
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        • K
          K
          offline 58

          Re: am I overreacting?

          09/17
          The tricky thing is, it's not a completely public space--the training corp is renting the room at the Y, and so the general public will not be allowed to just come in. It's more of a workplace issue in that sense.

          But still, I am going to remind them of these laws, along with all these other points. At this point, I just don't want to go because they've already made me feel so uncomfortable. But, moreover, I don't want to give them the few hundred bucks because with this "policy" they don't deserve it.

          I'll keep y'all updated.
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          • Re: am I overreacting?

            09/17
            i know it's hard, but please don't let some uneducated fool make you feel uncomfortable about nursing your boy.
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            • K
              K
              offline 58

              Re: am I overreacting?

              09/18
              The drama continues...

              So of course, I heard nothing for a couple of days, because it seems like they're just waiting for their cancellation period of 14 days to pass and hoping perhaps that I just don't show up and they keep my money. I sent a very direct email with all the points mentioned here (thanks ladies!) and left a phone message with my billing information for them to process my refund.

              I got a vague email about they think they can work with me but they just need to talk with the trainer (how hard is it to forward a damn email and have him respond?). Then I reiterated my wish to cancel and how since there is no policy in place and it's up to the mercy of the instructor, who could very well change their mind that day, I could be out hundreds of dollars in registration and travel expenses for nothing or face making my child suffer. That they still refuse to actually put me in touch with the trainer, or to answer the very simple question I asked initially, which is what times do they typically have breaks during the sessions (it's in the trainer's manual, so I know they can answer this).

              So, get this. I get this goofy email saying that they really are "mom and baby friendly" whatever the heck that means and that they are NOT canceling my registration yet because they think I will "really enjoy the training." As if that's even the issue! Luckily my husband is super supportive about this and considered my request perfectly reasonable. He found this last response just patronizing, as if to say I'm just some emotional mom who will change her mind tomorrow.

              Grrrr!!!!!
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  • Re: am I overreacting?

    09/16
    That is compete bullshit. I would be LIVID. Did you point out the *disruption* you experienced? If not, you SHOULD!
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    • Jessica
      Jessica
      offline 72

      Re: am I overreacting?

      09/16
      perhaps a little pointing out of "practice what you preach" as far as SUPPORTING mothers???

      you are not out of line. I would be livid.


      Heh- i wouldn't have asked permission. If it's the type of class that people come and go from and bring their *dogs* to i would just had hubby bring my son, hand off in the back of the room and do it. But i've always been an "ask forgiveness rather than permission" person.
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      • IxChel
        IxChel
        offline 20

        Re: am I overreacting?

        09/16
        and when you bring up the point about the dogs, be sure to mention that, not only are they ALSO a liability not covered by insurance, but also an allergy hazard to anyone in the room who might be sensitive to dog dander. who expects to go to yoga class & have to put your hands all over dog hair on the floor? i'm with jessica, i would just do it anyway, if you decide to go.

        exactly, practice what they preach. how are they supportive of mothers when our basic duties are deemed as "distractions" & "liabilities"?
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