Sorry this is so long, but the background may help, or not. I had to write it down and talk it out, if nothing else, because I'm so sad about it.

I was having a hard time keeping up with my daughter's needs at 4 months, and finally her ped had me start doing formula and pumped bottles during the day to supplement BF, after we'd tried just about everything to satisfy her on nursing alone. It was hard, but I had to figure at least she was getting the benefits of her morning and evening "noms", and lo and behold, she really started to gain weight on her skinny little frame once we did that. We also started her on solids a little early, also at her ped's suggestion. In all she has been 100% healthy, genuinely seems to love to eat whether it's BF, formula or solid foods... she even sleeps through the night, and was doing just great on weight gain and other growth. All was pretty good.

Well, that lasted about 2 months...I would still pump morning and/or evening as well, but pumping at work during the day was just not working out to be practical at all, and we burned through my frozen backstock...and yeah, she was only nursing in the morning (ravenously) and in the evening (for just a few moments before she would start to doze off) so my supply was verrry slowly dwindling, but not too bad. I was keeping up with her demand in the AM/PM when she wanted it, with about an extra 6 ounces a day when pumping. She switched very easily and happily between breast and bottle all along (previously we were using shields but I was able to get her off of those in the two months since we started the formula supplement/pumping and bottlefeeding). I planned on extended nursing, beyond 1 year...but at LEAST going to that mark.

Then last week, after a long delay, I had to have foot surgery that I have been putting off for years, and do it quick before she turns into a toddler I have to chase around. ;) (Juni is now 6 months old, BTW.) So, I was scared to nurse her while I was on pain meds (first I was on Tylenol 3 which I was told was "pretty safe" but I didn't want to take any chances, but then, I had to go back to the ER for pain and was given dilaudid, and no way was I going to nurse her while I was taking concentrated morphine derivatives!). I pumped and dumped the two days I was on pain meds, and I actually stopped taking them altogether on day 3, even though I was still in a pretty high degree of pain, because I was eager to return to nursing and not disrupt my production or her acceptance of the breast.

So imagine my heartbreak, then, to discover that she wants nothing to do with me now! YEp, my daughter has TOTALLY rejected me every time I offer the breast since that short hiatus. She'll drink my milk happily from a bottle, so it's not the smell of the medication still in my system or something. This has been the case from the very minute I tried nursing her again after just three days off - otherwise I'd think it's a flow issue, but my production seems to be fine and I can still pump almost as much as I could before. No, I literally can't even get her to try - she arches her back, turns her head, and screams like a banshee when I try to position her anywhere near my breast, and no matter how much milk I try squirting in her mouth, or what time of day I offer it, or anything - nothing works until she gets her bottle.

I've already been keeping her on the lowest flow I have on hand (she's on 3 month nipples right now for slow flow, rather than 6+ nipples, but I guess I am going to try scaling back to newborn ones). Since I cannot even get within a few inches of her mouth, it's not very practical to keep trying, but try I do, despite the massive crushing rejection I'm feeling. I've ended up in tears so many times this week over it.

I really don't want my baby to wean at 6 months! That's crazy talk! She was just now getting to the point where she'd tug at my bra straps to ask for a feed, and it was the cutest and most wonderful relationship I've ever had.

Any tips?